Sunday, April 8, 2012

Nightmares


… It’s about midnight and the train is pacing on the track making a loud cranking sound of steal and wood every time the track joint was pushed down by the hard metal wheels. A young boy of about 4-5 years of age sleeping on the top berth of the cabin wakes up in haste and looks down at his sleeping family. Should I wake up mom or dad, or should I get down and go to washroom by myself and not disturb anyone, the young boy thinks for a minute and then decides not to wake up anyone and help himself. He slowly turns on the seat and position himself to step down the small stair attached to the top and middle berth. As he steps down, he notices that not a single light is lit in the entire bogie and every single person was in deep sleep. The boy steps down and touches the floor and rubs his eyes to acclimate himself with the darkness of the corridor. He starts walking towards the restroom at far end of the bogie touching and holding each lower berth of every cabin he passes to avoid tipping over. The weather outside is cold and foggy and as the train paces faster, the wind starts making scary sounds. The boy recollects himself and reaches the end of the corridor and as he steps his foot next to the main door, the floor beneath him opens up and he falls down …


5 years ago I thought, I finally got rid of my recurring yearly nightmare that drove me crazy every night it came and scared me to the death. It wouldn’t be any exaggeration if I say that I used to see myself walking in the clutches of Death and waking up drenched in sweat and fear in mid of the night.

For a very long period of 10-12 years, every year in the month of September or October, I used to have this dream, a dream in which I saw myself walking to the hilt of dying but never saw how the end looked like because every time at the same point in my dream, I used to wake up in pain and fear. Yes, it’s hard to believe but I had one such dream just once every year and only in the month of September and October. Every single thing about the dream was same every time I witnessed it.

For all those years, I wondered, if there was any truth and reality in that dream or my mind was projecting a mixture of different thoughts collected by my brain. Was there any correlation of that dream to my life, could it be related to my past life, I don’t know. All I knew was that I was afraid of it. I thought to share this with my family but was afraid that they would ignore by saying that it’s just a dream and nothing else. I even thought about sharing this with my friends but they probably would have laughed and made fun of me. So I never shared this with anyone.

I guess, it was just my mind and its funny way of showing things from its repository of life and instances. I was glad that it was over and I was not tortured by it anymore until last night when I had another dream but this time it wasn’t me and it wasn’t the same dream. Though, the dream plot was still in a train and I was a part of it but not the victim. What I dreamt this time was even more scary than what I used to because this time it wasn’t me who was falling off the train but someone very close to my heart and the worst part is that this time I didn’t wake up abruptly missing the climax but I saw him crying in agony and pain and covered in blood screaming for his family.

I hope this dream doesn’t turn out to be another recurring nightmare of my Life.

6 comments

6 Comments:

kismet said...

If you want to take a broad minded approach to dreams, the belief is that many do reflect what's going on in our subconscious. Dreams can just be a representation though. That's to say that they aren't always literal. If you dream of death, it doesn't mean it will be a physical death of you.

According to the dream analysis book I have, dreaming that you're on a train symbolizes your life's journey. Falling means that you're feeling unstable. You should also take into consideration your age in the dream.

I think the fact that you kept having the nightmare only at certain time of the year is meaningful as well.

PS. It's Sharell here. I can't post using name/URL anymore it seems (have you changed the options?), so have to resort to this.

Poor In Java said...

Sorry about that Sharell, I was trying some different settings and forgot to revert back :)

It's interesting what you said, I wonder if we both have the same book but I am sure not. I once read a book on "Psychology of Dreams" and it had very good inferences. I agree with what you said and I hope it is so because I am still alive :) and haven't witness any Train massacre so hopefully it's just my mind playing tricks and trying to convey some message.

But when the dream comes, I can't control the fear and the moment itself.

TinyDreams said...

I might be sounding a little amusing and blunt at the same time my dearest bud, but get married..it can scare the shit out out of world's scariest nightmares!!

Needless to say, the world's best dream is to lead a happy and content married life with your Best Friend..Your Partner!!

Tarun said...

Jain sabb .... for me take it this way... that you have moved on from a boy to a matured person per ur dream. Also life is not cruel that it will make u see hurting urself and now the tables had turned.... somewhere inside u have moved on but not from outside.
Rahi baat doston ki hum to teri kisi bhi baat mar saktey hai to yeh dream kya cheez hai. Like we always said we are there for u and right after ur sweatful dream workout... a friend was there so do not worry about us darling.
Koi gori biwi dhoond agar terey ko Indian samajh naii aati..

Poor In Java said...

Haha... TinyDreams, my dreams started at the age when I didn't even know the meaning of marriage and companionship. Should I have got married then to scare the shit out of this World? If not then how would that help now?

anonymous said...

well..i agree wid sharell... Morova at the same times its through our dreams dat devine conveys his message to us.. Bt dear here its a same dream again n again its al the ups the down of ur life n an urge dat u always think to die is cumin up again n again..the moment u ll start takin life as the most beautiful thng all this ll go away ..n your mind will also be at peace.. God bless :)

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