Shuffling, juggling, tossing and turning, trying to find out another tale of my life. Although, I have bunch of things on top of my head to write about but still thinking of one good thing that would match the mood and the purpose. Should I talk about my childhood, my adolescence, my growing age, my family, friends, crushes and affairs or my love my life my wife (actually half wife :)) or should I talk about my goals and struggles or perhaps my dreams. Bucket full of stories to pen down but just can’t pick one out of it.
Let’s see, how about one of my all time favorite fantasy. Oh yeah, I do dream and I did day dreaming a lot from my childhood to youth making up stories and coming up with weird ideas and things. One such fantasy, actually wish would be the right word to use, is to see myself and the world standing right next to all when I die. Confused :), well what I always dreamed and I still wish is that how interesting will it be to depart from my body and stay just above or around it and see the world and myself lying dead somewhere with people around my body. Some would be really soaked in deep emotions, some would be laughing in the back of mind that “thank God, he finally departed”, some would be standing in the back in groups chatting and discussing about hot and happening news and then there will be some discussing and gossiping daily things and people. It would be fun to see the reality of each person. It could be worse also if no one sheds a single tear and everyone is happy on my departure but at least I would know the truth of my life when I was alive.
Still, this is not what I want to see after dying. What I want is to actually feel how death feels like and somehow still have that feeling that I am dead but alive. I know it is wacky stuff but imagine yourself dead and out of your body, can’t feel any pain, any joy, any happiness; no feelings for family, friend, and enemies yet have a feeling of death.
How does it feel to be dead? Crazy thought but honestly speaking, I can tell you how it feels to be dead or at least dying as I have witnessed it very closely and people, who know me very well, like really close ones know what I am talking about. But well, that would be another post and I shall definitely tell how it felt and how it ditched me :)