Sunday, February 27, 2011

On the verge of explosion

Last few days of my life have been really terrible, worse than the Terrible 2s of parents and worst than the moment of Death I witnessed. My brain's been working as a pressure cooker ready to pop anytime while my heart's been working as black hole sucking every single thing and moment of my life I have achieved, earned or cherished. It's been a rough time and I've never seen myself like this. It is scary because it feels like stuck in the giant whirlpool in the midst of the ocean and trying hard to come out but sinking down.

Perhaps, I'm being tested against my patience and tolerance, my sanity and control, but I am loosing it this time and I fear that I will burst into a volcano of anger and revenge. I feel like a serpent furiously slithering in the search of a prey and ready to strike the deadliest venom any life has experienced. Trying to compose myself with every possible thing I can, keeping myself busy and occupied round the clock to keep my mind away from the thing that has caused this imbalance in my mental state but looks like I can’t hold it anymore. Dozing myself every morning, noon and night to stay down and low with things that I promised myself I’ll never touch. They say I’ve lost it but I know I’m still alive…

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